Dating Advice: How Guys Screw Up First Dates

I get a lot of guys who write in to ask me for dating advice on how to behave around women. Many of those questions focus on the first meeting or the first date.

I thought I'd devote one entire newsletter to a concept that I feel is VITAL to understand if you're wondering how to behave around a woman you've just met.

A MISTAKE ALMOST EVERY GUY MAKES

I've noticed a KEY difference between the way men and women act when they meet a "potential mate".

Women usually act in a way that can be characterized like this:

"You're interesting to me. I'd like to get to know you better, and we can see where this goes."

Men usually act in a way that can be characterized like this:

"I am so interested in you that I'm nervous. In fact, I'm already thinking of you as a potential girlfriend or wife... or at least a one-night stand."

In other words, women are usually casual and laid-back when they're first meeting a guy...

But GUYS tend to act like every girl is a POTENTIAL WIFE.

As you can imagine, this creates a lot of tension and pressure.

And I'm not talking about the GOOD kind, either.

I'm talking about the kind that makes men shiver and shake with nervousness, and women feel uncomfortable because the MAN is acting uncomfortable.

I KNOW that you can relate to this in some way.


THE ANSWER

The simple dating advice here is...

DON'T DO IT.

If you start acting all freakish and nervous when you're talking to a woman, you're probably going to screw things up before they've even had a chance to get started.

Treating a woman that you've just met as if she very well could be the love of your life is something you should NEVER do.

Instead, take a very different approach.

My favorite is to ASSUME that every woman has SOMETHING that's going to annoy me, bother me, or SCREW UP HER CHANCES with me.

The MAIN reason that I do this...

SURPRISE...

IS THAT IT'S TRUE!

Duh.

The fact is that MOST women are NOT compatible "long term" with most men. In other words, there if you do get into a long-term relationship with a particular woman, the chances are that she's going to have things about her that you don't like.

One of my favorite Cocky & Funny themes to follow is "You're screwing up your chances with me".

Let's say I'm walking down the street with a girl to have a cup of tea. Let's assume that she and I just met the night before, I got her number, and now we're walking from my place to tea.

On the way in the door to the coffee shop, she trips over the doorway.

I might look at her, shake my head in an "overly dramatic fake annoyed" way, and say "This relationship just isn't going to work".

Then, let's say fifteen minutes later she spills her tea on the table and herself.

I'll shake my head again and say "What did I tell you about this kind of behavior?".

In other words, I'm communicating the very OPPOSITE of "You're a potential wife". I'm saying "I'm so comfortable around you that I can even make fun of you without caring what you think of me".

Does this sound a little crazy?

Good. It should.

But trust me.

If you spend a couple of hours having regular, normal conversation... being Cocky & Funny, enjoying yourself, NOT trying to impress her, and generally demonstrating that you could care less how things turn out, you'll be FAR more likely to take things further than if you act as if she might be the love of your life and you wind up acting so nervous, stilted, and DUMB that she runs away.

So here it is your bit of dating advice... one thing that most guys who are unsuccessful with women do that screws things up... one thing to AVOID:

DON'T TREAT A WOMAN YOU'VE JUST MET AS IF SHE'S A POTENTIAL FUTURE WIFE OR GIRLFRIEND.

Instead, lean back. Be cool. Make jokes about her screwing up her chances with you. Tell her that she's a nice friend. Assume that she has qualities that are going to annoy you, then point them out (in a Cocky & Funny way, of course).

Don't lose your composure. It can be fatal if you do.

Another bit of dating advice:

Most guys don't "get" women.

And, unfortunately, most guys look for tricks and "pick up lines" when it comes time to LEARN how to meet women.

They don't realize that all the tricks in the world aren't going to help them if they don't UNDERSTAND what's "going on".

Nice guys finish last

It's official: women the world over are drawn to bad boys, according to scientific research.

Arrogant, impulsive, self-obsessed, deceitful men beat the good guys in the attractive leagues, according to the survey, and secret agent James Bond epitomises that fact.

It's not just his debonair looks, charm and swagger that attract women to James Bond, but it is his 'badness' that women are most drawn to, with scientists hailing him as the ultimate ladykiller, the Daily Mail reports.


Writing in New Scientist magazine, scientist Peter Jonason said: "He's clearly disagreeable, very extroverted and likes trying new things – killing people, new women."

But why is it that when it comes to the attraction leagues, nice guys often finish last. It might have something to do with the fact that, while women think they want stability and someone who will treat them right, the truth is that the overwhelming sense of excitement that they can get from a bad boy is far more attractive.

In the study conducted at New Mexico State University in the US, 200 students were asked to rank themselves according to each of the three 'dark triad' traits – deceitfulness, narcissism and impulsiveness.

Respondents were also asked to jot down their attitudes towards sex and sexual relationships and reveal how many relationships they had been in.

It found that men who had higher 'bad boy' traits were found to have had more partners and were more likely to see short-term flings.

David Schmitt, of Bradley University in Illinois, said: "It's universal across cultures for high dark triad scorers to be more active in short-term mating. They are more likely to try and poach other people's partners for a brief affair."

More Dating Tips Here!

Making A Great First Impression On Women

ALWAYS look your best. I know this sounds REALLY obvious but you'd be surprised by how many men don't understand the importance of this simple tip. You never know when the girl of your dreams will turn up, or where. And it’s become a bit of a cliché because it’s true -- first impressions really do count.

Here are some figures to consider from my studies.

If you make a GOOD first impression on a woman, you have a 90% chance of EVER getting with her at that point (10% of women for whatever reason will be unreachable for most men at ANY point – she might like women herself etc).

If you make a BAD first impression your chances with her reduce drastically to just 20%. This means that to make her attracted to you AFTER the first 3 minutes of meeting her will be incredibly difficult if her first impressions of you were bad.

It’s the difference between climbing a mountain and using a helicopter to fly up one. Good first impressions means you’re on your way to the top in the helicopter, bad first impressions means you have a difficult climb to success – no helicopters for you.

Honestly, I can't stress this enough -- always try to look your best.

Tiff’s 5 S’s of first impressions.

Shave. Shower. Stylish. Smell. Shoes.

Remember these 5 S’s and always take care of them before you go out.

Why are shoes my number 5 S?

Your shoes are the FIRST thing a woman really notices about your clothing and hence your appearance. Make sure your shoes are clean and fashionable.

What you wear is very important. I could try to recommend a certain look but as with all things fashionable by the time you read this it may have changed.

Get the latest GQ magazine or other fashionable men's magazine's and imitate the styles you see there -- most women don't really care what labels you are wearing as long as you look good so you don't have to spend the Earth on clothing.

Many guys I help dress better usually comment on how strange they feel wearing clothes they are uncomfortable in, but nine times out of 10 they start to feel natural and even confident wearing their new wardrobe within days.

Make sure you smell good. Again this is extremely important. Remember how you feel when a woman walks by you and she smells soooo good - you feel an instant attraction even though you don't know her - well, that's how women feel too.

Wear a good-quality cologne, but don't spray too much.

One squirt on both sides of the neck, and one squirt on both wrists -- maximum. You don't want to smell too overpowering.

I recommend cool water by Davidoff or John Paul Gautier for Men (often called JPG love juice because women love it) if they don’t sell it where you are try to order some from abroad, this stuff is GREAT!

And here's a GREAT little SECRET that I have found will help you actually pickup about 24% of women without SAYING a word to them! Not a single word! And NO rejection either. You won't find this anywhere else either. What you need to do is...

By Tiffany Taylor

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